HERE'S A RITIN FRUM OLD BEAR
FOR JANUARY 1999
Hi, Evrybudy! This is Old Bear ritin 2 U agin and du U no wen U read this ritin it will be a hole brand nu year startin. It's shure a gud thing I don't never have 2 rite checks cus I wuld probly forget and keep on ritin 1998 insted of 1999. My man makes misteaks like that every time a nu year cums along.
Me and my man luked purty hard 2 find a Happy Nu Year song to play for you and decided that maybe this one kalled Long, Long Ago wuld be purty purtnut. Sumtyumes wen Happy Nu Year tyme cums we think abowt sum things that happened 2 us or 2 our famblies a long, long time ago.
Did U make a resolve like U r supposed 2 du on Nu Years? I didn't du one of those cus I never keep my resolves. Sumpn else I didn't du and neither did my man wus eat black eyed peas for gud luck lyke they du here in Texus. My man sez that we fed that stuff 2 the pigs back in Ilnoyze and it wusn't good luck 4 the pigs. He is jist kiddin cus I don't rekall anybudy growin black eyed peas 2 feed to peoples or pigs. Evrybudy ate korn, I'm purty shure cus there wus lots and lots of korn wear we lived, and lots and lots of pigs, 2.
U no how my man lykes 2 tell stories of old timey days. Well, one he lykes 2 tell is bowt wen it was back in the war tyme days and peoples culdn't buy lots of things cus there was sumpn kalled shortages. Well, cus of the shortages the automobile license plates in Ilnoyze where we lived were made frum mashed up soybeans that are sort of lyke peanuts but don't taste as good. Well, the mashed up soybeans made purty good license plates cept farmers didn't much lyke them cus the pigs and goats and other farm animules found out they were made from mashed up soy beans sew wuld eat them rite off the car. Then the farmer wuld have to buy sum nu ones. They shure were glad wen the war wus over and they culd put tin license plates back on their cars.
Lots of tymes in pitchers U C a baby that is supposed 2 be the NU YEAR and he usuually has a towel round him that sez wat year he is supposed to be. Well, here is a pitcher of my man sittin in sumpn kalled a goat kart back when he wus maybe abowt 1 year old. There are sum numbers on the cart sayin 1929 sew I guess that is wen the pitcher wus tuk.
Funny how my man culd dryve a goat kart when he wus jist one year old but never did lern to drye a GO kart. Hah, Ha.
My man rote a Happy Nu Year's poum eleven or ten years ago that is a purty gud poum and sort of funny, too cus all the endin wurds sound jist the same. I think that is kalled rimin. I think he wus sorta sad and thinking abowt long, long ago tymes wen he rote it. Wat du U think?
NEW YEAR'S DAY, 1988 Today is the first of nineteen eighty-eight, A year we all hope will be something great Although for me eighty-seven was first rate. Ask me if I stayed up to celebrate The introduction of this special date And I will answer that it was not very late When I went to bed without a mate. Nor did I lie awake to meditate About the difference between love and hate However at midnight others did initiate A noise loud enough to penetrate The dreams I had begun to orchestrate. And of course in my mind I had to commemorate Other New Year's Eves to which I could relate Some in a cold which would certainly invigorate And others, to tell you this I hesitate, On which I became a real inebriate With a morning headache that I cannot demonstrate. And I remembered as a kid I could hardly wait For the music that moved from state to state Tunes from every radio seemed to radiate From great bands which chose to cooperate But soon my mother would become irate And my listening she would regulate Without needing anyone to mediate. Well, once again words I have tried to manipulate With rhymes that easily emanate To give you some pleasure when I communicate And also, in a fashion, to narrate But now it is difficult to formulate Other lines that would exhilarate So only one more will I enunciate With you another year I wish to participate! James Sage